Thursday, 18 September 2014

The Rotten Divorce Through the Eyes of a Child



Divorce

Children look up to adults to help them make sense of the world that they live in. Unfortunately, children know that what they are told is appropriate behavior is not exemplified by their parents. Children have a keen eye. They see adults who cheat and avoid being caught, and adults who justify killing in the name of religion. They know all too well that adults create problems and are unwilling or unable to fix them. It is a fair conclusion then that children who grow up witnessing such contradictory and questionable behavior are most vulnerable.


With an increasing divorce rate, more and more children are being exposed to conflict in the family which is headed for a divorce. Divorce, more often than not, has a habit of bringing out the worst in people and as a result, parenting skills suffer. As a result, parents turn to undermine each other. In trying to look good in their children's eyes and buying their love, they turn to demeaning the other parent. 


During the process of divorce children not only suffer the loss of the nuclear family buy they lose the parents they knew as they try to accommodate into their new lives. As a result, children suffer abandonment and hoe that their parents may one day reconcile.


Children are the victims of the chaos a divorce creates in their lives. They have to endure the logistical hassles and the complex emotional issues it creates. This is made more daunting by the ways in which society roadblocks the child`s ongoing relationships. Schools for example, are not set up to communicate effectively with two parents living at different addresses. School communicates with only one parent with little likelihood of the information reaching the other, leaving one parent with the distinct message that they are of little importance in the child's life.


Society needs to be aware of the ways in which children suffer. Making moral judgements on the inadequacy of either parent children will feel valued and worthy at a time in their lives when they doubt this the most. Divorce cannot be claimed to be a private family matter. Teachers, friends, doctors, psychologists, lawyers and judges, cannot hide behind the limitations placed on them by their professional roles.


We have the responsibility to speak up for these children and offer them our support. We must be prepared to listen to what they are telling us and respect their point of view. It is after all their future development at risk.

If you need legal representation, kindly contact Gloria James-Civetta & Co here, to get the legal advice you need.

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